Menopause Vs. The Incredible Expanding Uterus

Thursday I went to the gynecologist... Woo Hoo! He said, "If anyone were really happy to see me, I think I'd run out of the room!" Yeah, that might be scary, huh? On a serious note... I would NEVER want to be married to a gynecologist. Of course, this might have something to do with the fact that I'm not a lesbian, and I think I would lose my lunch if I had to look at vajayjays for 10 minutes, not to mention all day long. I would be concerned my husband was really tired of seeing the female anatomy up close and personal - because, while I may allow for the chance that there is an "attractive" vajayjay out there... I'm thinking - what does it do to a man's libido to look at vajayjays that are very ugly?

Okay... past that... About 5 years ago my previous gynecologist sent me for some tests and revealed to me that I have 4 fibroids on my uterus. This gave me the uterus the size of one with an 8 week pregnancy going on. (This didn't worry me, as I was almost 5 months pregnant before I started to show with my last baby - in 1984) One was a little large. I learned that menopause can cause them to shrink, so the race was on - menopause vs. the incredible expanding uterus. A couple years later, the uterus had grown to the size of one with a 10 week pregnancy. Ok... Last year - 12 week pregnancy. Go menopause, GO! This year - 14 week pregnancy.

14 weeks was the magic number, it seems. Menopause is out of the race unless it shows up... RIGHT NOW! And it seems that menopause isn't really all it's cracked up to be. I thought it meant no more periods... seems that this would be the finale of the menopause show and that it's the only good scene. 14 weeks was the number which, in years past, put the knife in the hand of the doctor and required the H word... yes, hysterectomy. This word is way too closely related to hysterical - ever notice that? Did a man make it up? Oh, PROBABLY!! I imagine that years ago it was the procedure performed to remove hysteria from females across the country... Oh, your wife is emotional, has a little crazy behavior for a week every month! Well, she's hysterical, so let's get that taken out right away and she'll be good as new!!!

I had to look this up... and yes - that's exactly where it came from! Here's what I found on dictionary.com: hysterical 1615, from L. hystericus "of the womb," from Gk. hysterikos "of the womb, suffering in the womb," from hystera "womb" (see uterus). Originally defined as a neurotic condition peculiar to women and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the uterus. Hysterics is 1727; hysteria, abstract noun, formed 1801.

Wow! That just makes me sad. What was the neurotic condition peculiar to men and thought to be caused by a dysfunction of the testicles? And did they remove the testicals to treat that?!?!?!?! Road rage? Overactive need to impress his friends by lifting heavy objects and injuring himself? Refusal to watch P.S. I Love You, and similar romantic movies? Well, get your husband into the doctor and have those pesky testicals removed!

Okay - back to my dilemma - Seems this "uterus on the rise" may also be the reason that I feel like I have to pee... ALL THE TIME!!!!!

I tell my husband over the telephone as soon as I'm done at the doctor's office. He asks, "Is that the surgery that makes you grow a beard?" This makes me laugh. And I'm figuring - ok... if they just take the uterus - it's like the good part of menopause first... no more periods!!!! Woo Hoo... yeah... til later that evening....

I've not been overly excited about my uterus up to this point. I mean, it has quietly done its job when asked to, and other than that just hurts a little every single month since I was about 18. I'm 44. I'm not having any more babies. I wouldn't want to if I could, but I had a surgical procedure 23 years ago to ensure that I couldn't. But as evening approached and I had some quiet time to just sit with this idea - well, I'm afraid I'll feel as though a little of my womanhood will be removed with my uterus. This is where I grew my babies - my beautiful daughters that are now all grown - it's where they started and I'm feeling a bit sentimental about all that.

I'm also very concerned that it will negatively impact my sex life. very VERY VERY concerned

There are 2 other options - 1 is to just remove the fibroids, and 2 is to have the Radiologist inject something into the fibroids to help them shrink. ????

I'll investigate all that today, online.


bibliography:hysterical. Dictionary.com. Online Etymology Dictionary. Douglas Harper, Historian. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/hysterical (accessed: August 17, 2008).